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As an adult, I use nunchucks way less than I expected.
Somedays I could do without the life lesson
Has anyone ever seen a gorilla in the mist? Some of the local drivers struggle to see my car in perfect daylight conditions, so I doubt that they`d spot a Gorilla in limited visibility!!!!!
I`m a bitch ... What`s your excuse?
If your significant other is mad at you, put a cape on them and say "Now you`re super mad!" If they laugh marry them.
If you`re ever held at gun point, just remember, I`m behind you 100%.
"There`s a sleeping person. Let`s go ask it questions." – Children
I can tell how productive I was at work by how much battery my cell phone has left when I leave.
My package finally came today. this is awesome....it means I have bubble wrap to play with
I love the gym this time of year. The newbies make me look like a Victoria Secret model.
?"Cheating" is such a strong word. I rather call it "talent scouting".
4 out of 5 voices in my head think the other voice is a douche...
I`m going to hire two private detectives to follow each other .
Apparently people don`t like it when you lick your thumb and wipe all that black dirt off their forehead.
Do you want to hear a joke about constipation and dementia? ...Well, tough sh!t, I forgot it.