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Definition: Brain - Your body`s hardest working organ. It works 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, from birth until you...fall in love.
i am not so think, as you drunk i am
If my smartphone was so smart, then why it can`t do my math homework
If you hold out your arms like Frankenstein when walking in a leg brace, people let you cut in line at Starbucks.
Couples have an amount they can spend up to without discussing with each other. Mine is around $50. My wife`s is around $643.27. Apparently
I’ve never been in love but I imagine it’s similar to the feeling you get when you see your waiter arriving with your food.
I`m not as smart as I used to be but then again you can`t stay a teenager all of your life.
If you live by the sword, I guess that is pretty cool. I live by some trees and shit.
Anybody else have that annoying problem of Work and Family interfering with your FaceBook time?
its not the up`s and down`s that bring you down...its the jerks!!
If monogamy is sex with only one person, what is origami?
I’d drink a lot less alcohol if a lot less alcohol got me drunk.
I dont think I could ever stab someone.. I barely can get the straw into a Capri Sun.
I bet the creator of the artificial heart is pretty pissed that we still use "sliced bread" as our basis for great inventions.
Went by the bank today and the female teller was flirting with me which was weird considering she saw my account balance.