Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The 5 second rule for food dropped on the ground does not work if you have a 2 second dog.
It`s actually pretty impressive how many poor decisions I can fit in a day.
The circus may no longer come to town but at least we’re guaranteed to always see a few clowns in Washington.
LOOK A UFO! Quick, grab the worst camera money can buy.
Internet dating: the odds are good but the goods are odd.
I`m not everyone`s cup of tea ... I`d rather be someone`s shot of tequila away.
this guy with binoculars has been watching me watch him with binoculars and i don`t know who`s winning
Sometimes you can just tell it`s going to be a "Does not play well with others" kind of day.
I know two wrongs don`t make a right, obviously. But how many does it take? I`m like on 756.
I am a Mother hear me roar.....especially when my kids decide to make a kite out of my granny panties and fly it down the street.
I am deleting my twitter right now! Not to seem paranoid but I think people are following me!
I carry a permanent marker just in case someone without a mustache falls asleep.
I wonder how many people die each year as a result of lifeguards running in slow motion.
tell your boobs to stop staring at my eyes
If you weren`t supposed to eat 15 Oreos in one sitting, they wouldn`t package them in rows of 15.