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At least my motivation gets to sleep in.
I heard lots of bongo noises coming from my loft last night. It sounded very Drum Attic.
I hate when a couple argues in public but I missed the start and don`t know whose side I`m on.
My son and his friends are great ... They always spray the house with air freshener before I get home.
Perfect relationships exist in thoughts, movies, and Facebook timelines.
When I see a guy sleeping on an unfolded cardboard box, I never know if he`s homeless or just tired from breakdancing.
My girlfriend just accused me of being unfaithful. I told her that is ridiculous and that she is starting to sound like my wife.
You only live once is the most reassuring thing I`ve ever heard.
Often think if I`d taken a different path in life, I could be lying on a slightly more comfortable sofa right now.
Nobody cares what you`re gonna do in 2015. Now post some nudes.
I`m not antisocial. I`m pro leave-me-the-hell-alone.
Dance like no one´s going to put it on YouTube.
I think it has become obvious that medicine companies have no idea what fruit tastes like.
I bet all those girls that ignored me in high school would still be pretty pleased with that decision.
A girl who lives hundreds of miles away texting you “I’m drunk” is like a lasagna texting you from Italy saying “I’m delicious”