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They say you have real problems if you hear disembodied voices; fortunately all my imaginary friends have bodies.
According to Facebook, some people I don`t remember are grilling this weekend.
If you play any Taylor Swift song backwards you`ll hear messages from the devil, however even worse........... if you play it forwards, you`ll hear Taylor Swift
Afraid of not getting what you ordered when online shopping…..Ha, try online dating
Improve your memory by doing unforgettable things.
I don`t work that hard, I just make everything look way more difficulat than it is...
I love the phrase "boobie trapped" I mean, who doesn`t like to be trapped by boobies????
Its awkward touching hands with another man in a popcorn bag, especially if you don`t know the man & he doesn`t know you`re eating his popcorn
Today has been cancelled, due to lack of interest.
How strict is the "I licked it, it`s mine" policy? There`s some things I`ve licked that I don`t want.
Neil Armstrong said "One small step for man...". I would`ve just said "OH MY GOD, I`M ON THE MOON!!!!!!".
My favorite part of seeing someone I know in public is pretending I didn’t.
I always scratch off the "Plus One" option on wedding invitations are replace it with "Drinking for two"
Exactly when in American history did Americans stop having British accents?
You know you are in the hood when your portable GPS says “Drive faster and put me under the seat.”