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Hey I just met you... And this is Crazy... But this is a nice restaurant... So, Silence your baby!
Ever had sex while camping!? It`s intents!
Things were said. Feelings were hurt. Your car was set on fire. My point is you’re wrong & Raphael isn’t the best Ninja Turtle. Get over it.
TV needs to stop putting up those stupid “viewer discretion” warnings. My mom is sick of me calling her for clearance.
I went to a vegan restaurant once. Wait, no, that was just a florist.
Sorry for nicking your car w/my door, but you didn`t leave much room. It`s small, but I circled it with my key so you could find it.
Starbucks announced guns are no longer allowed in their stores. Seems crazy banks didn`t think of this.
I don`t have ADD. It`s just that everything is more interesting than what I have to get done.
Be wary of someone who calls all their exes crazy. They`re probably the reason.
If your phone gets wet, try putting it in a bag of dry rice. At night the rice will attract Asians who will fix your phone for you.
You’d be amazed how often I’m wrong when people say guess what.
Slowly, Waldo`s wife and Mr. Sandiego started putting the pieces together
They say I have a drinking problem. I say they have a problem with nudity.
I don`t get my neighbor. tells me to make my self at home but then gets pissed off when they come into the kitchen and I`m in my underwear making a sandwich.
They say 1 minute of kissing burns 26 calories. No wonder sluts are so damn skinny.