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It’s 2013, why does good food still have calories.
DATING TIP: never reveal how many cats you have.
No matter how loud you crank the bass, it`s still a minivan.
Those teardrop tattoos mean you cried during the notebook, right?
Does anyone else get scared when a text reads "Can I ask you a question?"
you know you`ve been facebooking too much when you accidentally say "LOL", in person...
My girlfriend left me because I`m a legend ... Or to quote her, `Arrogant`.
One day id like to have a brand new Iphone like the lady in front of me with the food stamps.
If you can make a woman laugh, you`re almost there. If you`re almost there & she laughs, now that`s a different thing.
The only toys I was allowed to play with in the tub were the dirty dishes.
I used to think drinking was bad until i stopped thinking
If offering people gum is cooking, then yes, I cook.
Does `virgin wool` come from sheep the shepherd hasn`t caught yet? ..just asking
People who weigh their produce. What`s it like to have all the time in the world?
Kids teach you so many life lessons. Unconditional love, patience, the meaning of family, but mostly to lock the bedroom door.