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Know why a room full of married people looks so empty? There’s not a Single person in it…
I wonder how long I can keep "eating for two" before people notice I`m not actually pregnant.
I hide from people too, so I get it bigfoot, I get it.
Damn girl, are you a Snickers bar, because you`re so sweet and satisfying and surprisingly hard and ... hold on, are those nuts?
To-Do List: Nothing [?]
Black Friday, because after a day of thankfully stuffing your face, you deserve a deal on purchases you don’t need.
It`s a serious Lego project when the 1st thing my 5yo does is take off his shirt and gets me a beer from the fridge.
I hate it when my kid starts crying in the middle of the night and I have to get up to close the bedroom door.
My career plans were much more exciting when I was 5
Why be full of hate when you can be full of pizza?
Where is the "Made In China" labels made?
About to check Facebook? Let me save you some time. One of your friends has updated their cover photo to a picture of the beach.
Yes, that`s correct. And the horse you rode in on.
You never know what you have until you clean your room.
Cleaning a house while toddlers are in it is like brushing your teeth while eating Oreos.