Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It`s Monday. I`m refreshed and ready to hate my Job
I`m as nutty as a squirell fart
When God closes a door, it usually has my fingers in it.
My wife was afraid of the dark......then she saw me naked.........now she is afraid of the light.
So she asked me "Do these pants make my butt look big?" And I said, "Not at all dear .. its the fat that does that." So now I´m single again.
Personality is 40% genetics, 40% upbringing, and 20% the last movie you watched.
Safe words are for quitters.
Thank you for showing me your Facebook wedding album. Now if you have time, here is a slideshow of my top 36 scores in Mario Kart
The first thing I do when I get a telemarketer call is say "Let`s go off script. What are you wearing?"
Facebook account for sale, Friends included...
I went outside once. The graphics were amazing but the gameplay and storyline were TERRIBLE.
If history repeats itself then I am SO getting a dinosaur.
With names like "Batman" and "Robin", you`d think they could fly...
I`m so in Debt, I could start a Government.
I dont think I could ever stab someone.. I barely can get the straw into a Capri Sun.