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If it weren`t for WebMD I would have never known what symptoms to mimic so I could get all these prescriptions from my doctor.
I`m not impatient. You`re just slow.
Practice safe text – use commas and never miss a period.
I don’t have bumper stickers because I don’t believe in anything strongly enough to potentially get my car keyed.
Sometimes I wonder if that kid in the Dreamworks logo has caught the fish yet.
I have 500 friends and only 499 Birthday wishes on facebook! I`ll remember that when it`s YOUR birthday #405!!!
Taking a nap is always so risky like when will I wake up... In 30 minutes? in 3 hours? in 9 years?? no one can be sure
Only toilet paper deals with more a$$holes than I do.
So if a dentist makes money off people with unhealthy teeth, why should we trust a toothbrush that 4 out of 5 dentists recommend?
It`s hard to look like a bad-ass when you`re slurping on a strawberry smoothie.
If only my goals were to be poor, lazy and out of shape.
A new day : the possibilities, endless. the funds, insufficient.
I love how my calendar assumes when I add a 8:00 event, it`s AM. Google thinks I`ve got my life together.
Making good decisions doesn’t really go with my outfit.
Hey, people who don`t drive *exactly* like I do. Get off the road!