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The cashier at the dollar store told me to have a good day. Like my purchase of shelf liner suggested any other plan.
Scott Baio is not a part of the Presidential transition team. I’m really disappointed that Charles is not in Charge of anything.
Putting vodka in my juice, because it`s Russia somewhere.
Me- We need eggs. Hub- How many? Me- One. See if they will sell you just one.
If you check Page 4, Paragraph 16, Subsection (d), right after the section on Video Game usage, but before the Book Report Procrastination provision and the No Face Piercings, Ever Amendment , you will that see that I am, in fact, and I quote: "the boss of you."
There’s always that last setting on your windshield wipers that makes you go “damn, calm the f*ck down!”
This status has been censored by Facebook
Ladies and Gentleman, I’ve traveled a long way, crossed many bridges, fought my way through countless obstacles, all to bring you this one sad truth about life. There’s never enough beer.
What would I give the woman who has everything? Well, my phone number for a start.
My insomnia is getting worse. I was wide awake all day at work yesterday.
A spider just tried to crawl across my hand and now Googling how to extract a fork from bone without causing more damage.
It bothers me when I see tax money wasted on signs telling deer where to cross the road.
How come they didn`t call this years game the BUD bowl?
One man’s LOL is another man’s WTF.
I never drink unless I am alone or with somebody.