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Nothing says "I mean business" like bringing a shopping cart to the liquor store.
Still waiting for a "Where are they now?" episode about the Flintstones
Fun Fact: Even though they call it a "man hole", you can shove women and children down it just fine.
Why do crutons come in resealable bags? Are we really worried about them going stale?
I’ve made some pretty bad choices in life but I have to admit, having orange juice with Oreos was the worst.
If a girl bangs ten dudes in a year she is a slut. If a guy done he`s gay. Definitely gay.
Walmart: the only place on Earth you can get a haircut, eye exam, ice cream sandwich, tires for your car, and witness a real life "what not to wear" episode.
I’m not so much goofing off as impersonating upper management.
I was at the pool today and tried to sneak a quick pee in the deep end. The lifeguard must have seen me. He blew his whistle so loud that I almost fell in.
Of course the Pilgrims had a lot to be thankful for, all their in-laws were back in Europe.
I want to meet the guy whose complaint led to cashiers asking me if it`s okay if they put the receipt in my bag.
I always hear people say that a dog is man`s best friend, but I don`t even have enemies who`ll look me dead in my face while taking a sh!t on my carpet.
Isn`t it weird when a cop drives by you feel paranoid instead of protected.
Apparently, driving past police cars while drinking water from an old vodka bottle isn`t `funny` and is technically `wasting` police time :(
I`m starting to think that adult supervision is a myth. In fact, my eyes seem to be getting worse.