Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Laugh now, but at the rate they are reproducing, the people of Walmart may one day take over the world
The term "bath toys" has a whole new meaning when you`re an adult
Well your honor, I thought handing her the curling iron while she was showering would get her ready faster.
If you don`t pay your exorcist do you get repossessed?
I saw a fat lady with a "M.O.B." tattoo on her arm. I asked "money over B*tches?" She said "No, McDonalds over Burger King.
Is anyone else`s alcohol tolerance too high for their paycheck?
I just took the "What Kind of Asshole are You?" quiz and got "The kind that posts my results on Facebook".
The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they`re going to be when you kill them.
You know what’s easy? ... Opening another beer
I`d like to share my innermost thoughts and feelings with all of you, but I`m afraid they`ll be used against me in a court of law someday.
I could really go for a vegetable sandwich! Maybe some tomatoes, some spinach, cucumbers... With cheese. And a hamburger patty. And bacon. Ok I really want a bacon cheeseburger.
I`m really sick of responsibility ... and underwear
Its so cold out, I actually saw a gangsta with his pants UP!
You sure do seem to know a lot about love and relationships for someone who spends 22 hours a day on Facebook.
It’s sad how Wile E. Coyote is remembered for his crappy ACME gadgets, and not for his brilliantly realistic paintings of tunnels.