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That urge you get to write, "No one cares" on someone`s status.
I hate when my camera rings, in the middle of a selfie.
The doctor told me I need more greens in my diet. So I have switched to mint Oreos.
Now it`s too hot to take down the outdoor Christmas lights.
I often confuse reptiles and amphibians. Actually, if I`m being brutally honest, they pretty much never know what I`m talking about
the real full form of M.B.A....Married But Available
The guy below me obviously has never seen R2-D2.
The best sign of a healthy relationship is no sign of it on Facebook.
Slutty girls are like Walmarts, everyone makes fun of them but when you`re inside one at 4am you think, i`m glad these are here.
Debate?.....isn`t that what you use to catch "The Fish" ?
Please just put it in the fridge.... We`ll throw it away next week.
I have no super powers. I`m guessing I`m the villain.
I would like to learn one of those clicking languages from Africa because I get the feeling my knees are trying to tell me something.
Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it’s a beautiful day.
Fun Fact: Over 97.8% of men have already made mistakes this year that a woman will remind him about for the rest of his days.