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Practice safe text – use commas and never miss a period.
I put a dollar in one of those change machines once. Nothing changed.
The longest 10 seconds of my day is when I have to hold down the button on an electronic thing to turn it off
The irony of all this is, the internet was created to save us time…
Just saw a coyote next to the highway. I hope this tunnel ahead isn`t just painted on.
I`m not saying my doctor is young, but he just texted me "2mer is B-9, woot!"
According to national reports, car thefts in the US are now at a 20 year low…Well, sure, it’s hard to steal a car when the owner’s living in it…
We played a lot of "Keep The Balloon In The Air" as kids, a game known to most other people as being poor.
I read in a book somewhere that we only use 12% of our brains....I wonder what the other half is for?
My participation in this meeting will be based solely on the snacks they provide.
You ever think that maybe the reason geese are always honking is because they`re flying too close together?
I`m smiling, that alone should scare you.
Mix it up a little. Text a random phone number the following msg: "The fat one won`t fit into the woodchipper. What do you want me to do?"
If you take bites out of string cheese rather than rip strings off , you don’t f*cking deserve string cheese.
Don`t understand how you can forget about someone you loved so much. Like that time my mum drove off and left me in the supermarket car park