Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I just want someone who will love me for the a$$hole that I am ;)
Let´s drink tequila till you don´t remember what I suggest next..
The moment you stop giving a damn is the moment things get easier and better.
Here`s a thought: Let`s let the illegal Mexicans stay and send the whining crybabies to Mexico. At least the illegal Mexicans are willing to work.
The olympics is the only time when you hear "Great execution by North Korea" and it seems okay.
You know you watch too much porn when you go to a hospital expecting a threesome.
What`s it called when it`s 9:20am and you can`t wait for dinner? Oh, it`s called fat. Nevermind.
I hate when beggars rattle their cup full of coins at me. Yes i know! You have more money than me, you don`t have to rub it in..
Sometimes I wanna copy someone´s status word for word and see if they notice.
Lol at birds that walk places.
Pretty sure nobody would run marathons if they were never allowed to talk about running marathons.
is a reasonably intelligent person who does moderately stupid things on a semi-regular basis.
It really pisses me off when I plan a conversation in my head and the other person doesn’t follow the damn script.
i just fell off a 20ft ladder.. good thing I was on the first step.
It`s nice to feel wanted. Even if it`s by the FBI.