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Relationship status: my cat won`t sit still for our selfies.
dear journal..im now the coolest kid in school....mom:SWEETIE THE CHESSCLUB IS HERE 4 U!!!
There should be an "undo" button in an elevator for when you accidentally hit the wrong floor.
You know you are old when your birthday suit doesn`t fit anymore.
"Thanks for coming" - sperm bank receptionist.
Just because leggings stretch dont mean yo 465 pound a$$ should be in them!
I remember 2011 like it was yesterday. ;)
I have no time for stupid people But they sure seem to have time for me.
How can Wal-mart have a bazillion carts and everyone with at least one wobbly wheel?
When I was little my dad had me convinced that the Ice Cream truck only played music when it was sold out. Well played Dad, well played.
Today I am thankful that I don`t post what I am thankful for on Facebook, every day in November. Or ever.
Wearing my pajamas to Walmart. I don`t want to attract any attention.
Me, a morning person? Pfft. Most days I`m not even an afternoon person.
Some people walk into your life and leave footprints on your heart. Some people walk into life and make you want to leave footprints on their face
I`m ABSOLUTELY positive I`d accidentally kill myself within 3 minutes of owning a light saber.