Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Why can`t braille just be in the shape of the letters?
When you go to buy fire insurance for your house, don`t tell them you need it by a certain date.
There really isn`t much difference between being a kid and being an adult. I was just as emotionally crippled upon learning the truth about Penthouse Letters as I was about Santa Claus.
if money grew of trees, girls would be dating monkeys
I’m drinking like there’s snow tomorrow.
I wish my car was fueled by my lack of desire to go to work.
If you think nobody cares if you´re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
Half of life is screwing up…the other half is dealing with it.
My baby girl is so polite. I told her she needed to share and she said "No, thank you"
It’s called sarcasm, and it confuses stupid people.
The fastest way to find out if your wife is just pretending to be asleep to avoid sex is to pick up her phone and start scrolling.
If turning alcohol into bad decisions ever becomes an Olympic event, I`m bringin` home the Gold! USA! USA!
What am I doing with the rest of my life? I don`t even know what I`m doing with the rest of this post...
Ok Brazil, this would be a time when it`s ok to bite an opponent.
Just once, I want to see a pregnancy test commercial where the female is like, "Aww, f*ck..."