Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I cannot even begin to imagine the conversation that led to the first circumcision.
Big shout out to all the spiders not building their webs at face level.
By 5, the human child can walk and feed itself, but doesn`t yet stray from home, as it relies on parents for tablet charging and maintenance
Why donβt television shows say, βYou will be delighted to know that this program contains strong sexual content?β
I pretend to like people everyday. It`s called being an adult. That`s why we`re allowed to buy booze.
Dating should be like buying a car. You should get to talk to the previous owners... SHOW ME THE MANFAX!!
Theiryeβre, problem solved.
My wife told me that her favorite position is when I lay very very still wearing a toe tag and she starts dating again
I found a dollar in my bed this morning... Following my excitement was a flash of panic as I checked all my teeth
You`re single? BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.. Yea me too.
Dogs are great. You can count on them to alert you of danger...Also, children passing by, squirrels and gusts of wind they don`t like.
Husband for sale: 1972 model, white in colour, a bit hard on gas but comes with a spare tire.
Apparently a teen in Brazil died after jerking off 42 times without stopping. So incase you were wondering. ...41, guys,...that`s the limit.
I was discussing with my friend about the popular trends on sex, marriage and values. He says to me, "I didnβt sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?" I replied. "Iβm not sure, what was her maiden name?"
Young enough to know I can. Old enough to know I shouldn`t. Stupid enough to do it anyway.