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It`s been few days since I heard from the voices in my head, I think it`s the calm before the storm. Some big sh!t is gonna go down!!
Mall kiosk employees are basically human pop up ads.
I`m not lying, I`m just making the story better.
For you men who think a woman’s place is in the kitchen, remember… that’s where the knives are kept.
its not the up`s and down`s that bring you down...its the jerks!!
Don’t get me wrong. I totally hear what you’re saying…I just don’t care.
As it turns out, I’m not an afternoon person either.
They say 1 in 3 people cheat in a relationship. I`m not sure if its my wife or my girlfriend.
They should just go ahead and put a volume setting on my TV that says "Eating Doritos".
Mornings are the best when they start in the afternoon.
Hey mother in law.... Don`t tell me how to raise my kids. Im still trying to raise yours.
I would unfriend you but I enjoy laughing at your life.
I think they put less beers in twelve packs these days.
*sigh* the cop at the front door is never a stripper when you need it to be
One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and too stubborn to ask for directions.