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The only thing I`m really learning from this 401K meeting at work this morning is that I`ll probably never be able to retire.
People that use statistics in everyday arguments are a$$holes 100% of the time.
i never said i knew what i was doing, i said i was going to do it anyway :)
All the coffee in Colombia couldn`t make me a morning person.
sorry but your password must contain an "uppercase letter, a number, a haiku, a gang sign, a hieroglyph, and the blood of a virgin"
Learn to spell. Auto Correct isn’t always write.
It`s 2014 and somehow we still don`t have a car mirror that can make objects appear exactly as far away as they are.
The average power nap is 20 minutes. This works out well because I can fit 3 of them evenly into one hour.
When someone says “You just made my day,” it makes my day.
I just burned 1200 calories.I forgot the pizza in the oven.
He who laughs first, must be connected to wi-fi.
I miss my ex a lot... but my aim is getting better.
“Nothing is impossible.” I disagree. I’m doing nothing right now… it’s totally possible.
They say you need to listen to what your body is telling you. But mine just points and laughs.
Two things everybody wants: 1) Lose weight. 2) Eat.