Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
One quality I`m not looking for in a partner is the ability to maintain a virtual farm. #FarmVille
Alcoholic? No. Self-appointed booze quality control technician? Yes.
What Meatloaf wouldn`t do for love I would probably do for a six pack.
Sometimes I order fajitas at a restaurant just to get more attention.
Sometimes my kid likes me, but I`m pretty sure it`s only because I`m his Oreo dealer.
I always thought a chickpea was just when girls go to the bathroom in groups.
Every novel is a mystery novel if you never finish it.
Me blacking out when I`m drunk is God`s way of telling me that what I do when I drink is none of my business.
I saw this homeless guy talking to himself and I was like, "Who is he talking to?" then I thought "Who am I talking to?"
Due to an unforeseen error during last night`s love making session I am forced to wear non matching socks today
Currently helping my son search for his chocolate that I ate last night.
Your so old, you knew Burger King when he was a prince.
I think it has become obvious that medicine companies have no idea what fruit tastes like.
Yesterday my Supervisor asked why I was tardy and I said, "I don`t think you`re supposed call people that any more."
If I had spoken to my parents the way some children do now, I would not be here to share this status.