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To those that manufacture and market tight, thin yoga pants to fit college girls; I love you man.
Decaf only works if you throw it on people.
Contrary to popular belief, it`s actually the fat that makes you look fat. It was never the dress
If you`re in your car, go ahead and pick your nose, because the car makes you invisible.
My wife made me coffee this morning & winked at me when she handed me the cup. I`ve never been more scared of a drink in all my life.
Sometimes, you wonder what the hell the music video has to do with the song.
They told me to never give up. Now they call me a stalker.
More people would call the Gambling Addicts Helpline if they made every 5th caller a winner.
I went outside once. The graphics were amazing but the gameplay and storyline were TERRIBLE.
Is bloodletting still in use today? Just thinking...I know a couple of people here that may be in need of some bloodletting
The light does go out in the fridge ... Now I have to wait for someone to let me out.
If you see me out somewhere and act like you didn`t, you should know that I ignored you first.
Does `virgin wool` come from sheep the shepherd hasn`t caught yet? ..just asking
Iām not crazy just the voices are!
Someone asked me if I`m ever scared that I`ll be alone forever, which I thought was so rude because my cat was right there.