Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Guys... If the girl your getting down with doesn`t even have time to fake an orgasm..... It`s prob best you just make your sandwich
The statement ‘Hey! Calm down!’ has a zero to no success rate of getting someone to calm down.
I`d be willing to sleep my way to the top if it actually meant sleeping.
Don`t sweat the small stuff. Don`t sweat the medium or large stuff either. Stop perspiring on everything. Take your sweaty a$$ elsewhere.
Apparently Home Depot`s slogan of "You can do it; We can help" doesn`t apply to masturbation.
Hi, we`re a group of teens who solve mysteries! We wanna be taken seriously so we wrote a theme song about how we can`t ever find our dog.
All`s not lost my Friends. It won`t be long til people realize Selfie Sticks also make wonderful lightning rods......
When I`m in a good mood I act like I`m I`m in a bad mood so nobody approaches me and ruins my good mood.
According to customer service I can not bring sexy back... Without the receipt, apparently.
Some of us learn from the mistakes of others. The rest of us have to be the others.
The best thing about living in the southern U.S. is that "He needed killing" is a valid legal defense.
Guys, if she says she’s crazy, she’s harmless. The real crazy ones never give you a damn clue.
Whenever I drive past the psychic’s empty parking lot, I think, if I was psychic I would only be open on the days I knew people were coming.
This post was going to be really funny but I didn`t write it down because I was totally sure I`d remember it.
Nothing says “friend zone” quite like a woman saying “you’re like a brother to me.” Unless you’re from Alabama.