Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m going to stand outside. So, if anyone asks, I`m outstanding.
I’m what you would call “indoorsy”
Note to self... next time my wife asks what`s on tv, don`t say dust
Iron Man is a superhero. Iron woman is a command.
How am I supposed to make great life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next?
Never cry over spilt milk. It could`ve been whiskey.
Male or female, no one f*cks with you if you put your lipstick on like The Joker.
The funniest thing about this Facebook status is by the time you realize it doesn`t say anything important, it`s to late for you to stop reading it ... sucker
Every job in the world should require their employees to enter and leave work in a Soul Train line.
The guy that figured out babies instinctively hold their breath under water probably had a lot of explaining to do.
Don`t you just want to write on some people`s Facebook wall "you peaked in High School".?
Seen it all, done it all, can´t remember most of it.
Bands who can`t afford a smoke machine should hire my girlfriend to cook at their concert
You washed your hands? Be honest. Your hands washed each other, and you just watched like a sick freak.
FUN FACT: If you take all of the marshmellows out of a box of Lucky Chrams, you`ll have a bag of Purina Cat Chow