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I wish the "Do not ask me again" option existed in real life.
I like the part of the day where we eat the food.
my ex girlfriends started they`re own website they call it two faced book...
Wow.. I didn`t know spandex could hold that much.
Today is the 1st anniversary of the end of the world. Can you believe it`s been a year since the world ended? Time sure flies when it`s the apocalypse.
A buddy gave me some of his pee in a jar so I could pass a drug screen. I failed, which is weird, cause I drank ALL of it.
Say no to drugs! Then again, if you`re talking to drugs, you`re probably already on drugs.
When the hostess at the restaurant says “table for 2?” I always like to look surprised and whisper “you can see her too?”
Any time that I see someone wearing crocs, I assume they lost a bet.
My bf just got out of jail. Says life in jail for him was a big pain in the a$$
My date is in 2 hours, which means I have very little time to fix my glasses and fix my bangs and get a career and lose 50 pounds
Share this if you know someone who is alive today simply because you don`t want to go to prison.
I will kill you with kindness even if I have to beat the sh!t out of you.
My favorite beer is the 15th one.
For an "adult" bookstore, this place has a LOT of picture books