Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Love makes the world go `round, but alcohol makes it spin.
I`m not sure why they gave all these other people cars.
I did 10 minutes of cardio this morning. I was still drunk from last night, and I was trying to tie my shoes but whatever.
Anyone says their wedding day was the best day of their lives has obviously never had 2 candy bars fall down at once from a vending machine
Friday is like a superhero that always arrives just in time to prevent me from savagely beating my coworkers with a keyboard.
When I get bored I go to a car dealership and ask the salesman to lay in the trunk so I can "see how many I`ll be able to fit".
My Girlfriend wanted a cat. I didn`t want a cat. So we compromised and we got a cat...
I’ve just woken up, and it appears that Earth is temporarily safe from harm & currently doesn’t need my assistance, so I’m going back to bed.
I remember 2012 like it was yesterday.
Dear Car driving 40mph on the highway this morning. It`s only a 1/4“ of snow plus you have a "Jesus Fish" on your bumper. You`ll be just fine.
Come on Facebook friends. Be honest with me. Does my butt make my pants look fat?
Going to Target. See you in about two hundred bucks...
These bar stools are creaky!! [continues to fart on first date]
I danced like no one was watching but someone was watching, thought I was having a seizure and called an ambulance
hell yeah !!!! i was the lucky sperm !!!!!