Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
We live in a society that’s the most knowledgeable about a zombie apocalypse, but the most likely to be eaten while staring at our phones.
Besides creating dinosaurs are mosquitos good for anything?
Definition: Brain - Your body`s hardest working organ. It works 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, from birth until you...fall in love.
People who go jogging, you realise we have cars now, right?
Wait...so the "c-word" isn`t co-worker?
Rapper; "I`m killing them snitches, smacking then bitches, smokin blunts and f*ckin hoes!" *wins award* Rapper: "I just wanna thank god.."
Coworker: What did you do this weekend? Me: Dug holes in the woods. And that is how you get people to shut up.
I`m that friend that you have to explain to people before you introduce me and apologize about afterwards.
I’m pretty sure I could start a new life with only the crap in my car.
How much Hershey`s Chocolate Syrup can I add before it`s really not a SlimFast shake anymore?
One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.
I burned my mouth on my pizza and I feel this is a strong metaphor showing me that the ones we love can hurt us the most.
If stress burned calories, I’d be a super model.
I find myself highly addicted to books as of late. Once I start coloring the first few pages I can`t stop....
One of these days I’ll realize that leaning forward in my car while accelerating does not make it go any faster.