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I am currently unsupervised ... I know, it freaks me out too. But the possibilities are endless!
I believe pizza delivery cars should be allowed to use sirens
Can we just stop with the pre-sliced cheese? Is anyone so busy that they don’t have time to cut the cheese?
"May the 4th" be with you!
I have just one thing to ask you people who say the memory is the first thing to go: What did I come in here for?
I only drink on two occasions; when its my birthday and when its not.
Nobody cares what you`re gonna do in 2015. Now post some nudes.
My favorite form of lying to myself is choosing a deodorant scent that contains the words `active` or `sport` in it`s name
Not to brag, but I’m pretty good in bed. I don’t snore or steal covers, and I only pee if something startles me.
According to serving sizes tonight, I`m a family of 4.
I`d get lost less frequently if GPS would say "no, your other left."
I wonder if the girls on "16 and pregnant," will come back on "32 and a Grandma."
People that do stuff- what’s your secret?
Procrastination: when "make a bucket list" is on your bucket list.
Bill Gates: A billi a billi a billi JayZ: Half billi half billi half billi Lil Wayne: A milli a milli a milli Me: A dollar a dollar a dollar