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The irony of social media is that the majority of users are all alone.
My New Year`s resolution for 2014 is to do something about my procrastination.
I walked into a bar in my pirate suit and a ships wheel in my pants.... The bartender asked... "Why do you have a wheel in your pants"? I replied "Argh.. it`s driving me nuts".
The lady walking ahead of me sped up so I did, she began running so I did, she screamed so I did. I never even saw what we were running from.
looong and hard, yep thats my pencil.
Someone’s going to ruin things; it might as well be me.
The human race is the only one that lets its idiots live a full life...
Gotta thin the herd. – me eating animal crackers
Some people are like eye-candy... I`m more like eye-meatloaf.
Not trying to be racist or ignorant but... seriously, all crocodiles and alligators look alike.
This might be the worst online counseling site ever.
If your cat has a Facebook page, we can`t be friends.
The “Slow Children Playing” signs always make me sad. Would it cost that much more to thrown in punctuation?
It was so cold out today i actually saw a few gangsters with their pants pulled up.
People who go to the store and buy the single roll of toilet paper must not have an optimistic view of their life expectancy.