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When I want your opinion, I’ll give it a funny voice.
How many men does it take to open a beer? None! It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch.
I pay $200 a month for car insurance, I`ll run all the red lights I want
I see your arguement contains a lot of swear words, you must really know what you`re talking about
We will always have that special 5 minutes before I started creeping you out.
I don`t like Instagram. It reminds me that somewhere people are doing stuff. I just don`t need that kind of pressure.
Some of us learn from the mistakes of others; the rest of us have to be the others.
What idiot named them nostrils instead of scent vents?
I`m not saying your cat doesn`t care about you, I`m saying if Lassie was a cat, Timmy would still be in that well.
i only drink on days that end with y
Thumbnail pics. Helping ugly people look hot until you click on them since 1995.
I was asked what I would give the woman who has everything... Well, my phone number for a start.
You could pleasure me just by walking away.
The world would be a cleaner place if we gave blind people brooms instead of canes...
If at first you don’t succeed, try doing it the way I told you to.