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Still haven`t taken down the Christmas tree. Screw it. We now have a Super Bowl tree.
Love makes the world go `round, but alcohol makes it spin.
Love putting on underwear fresh out of the dryer. They`er so warm and cozy, and it`s fun to scan the laundromat and guess whose they are.
iPhone is really a terrible name considering how rarely I use it as a phone. That`s like if my bed was named iSex.
went to see the conjuring, and now there`s 10 crosses, four bibles, and a poster of Chuck Norris in my room.
You might be a REDNECK if you think S.T.O.P. means spin tires on pavement!! :)) lol
Did the Baha Men ever find their dogs? Did they put up posters or just sing that song?
I wonder if there are birds that prefer not to sing in the morning and that just roll around in their nests until noon.
I`m tough and can take whatever life throws at me ... Especially if its dipped in chocolate first.
2011: Come at me bro! 1800`s: Advance towards me brethren!
Staring longingly at the door works for my dog, but I tried it at work and no one let me out. :(
If you find a four-leaf clover it means you have entirely too much time on your hands.
Everyone picks their nose at some point, it`s what you choose to do next that defines who you are as a person.
When you are dead, you don`t know you are dead. It`s pain only for others. It`s the same thing when you are stupid.
My chemistry teacher asked us what the heaviest metal was today. Apparently "Megadeath" was the wrong answer.