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I may look like I`m doing nothing, but in my head I`m quite busy.
Since you were smiling when you tazed me, I`m guessing we still have a chance.
No body on there deathbed said I wish I had spent more time at work
Why do some people call it a "tuna-fish" sandwich? It`s not like anyone calls it a "chicken-bird" sandwich.
I always confuse the words exotic and erotic. That made for a very awkward conversation at my local pet store.
Say what you will about women but I think being able to turn one sentence into a six hour argument takes talent.
It just occurred to me that you could substitute Miranda rights for wedding vows. Verbatim.
about love
I sure do feel a lot more attractive at Walmart than I do at the gym.
Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.
Of course size matters. No one wants a small pizza.
If anybody steals my identity, at least I’ll know who to look for.
Keep reaching for the stars but please get a better deodorant.
thinks we should all jump out of our chairs and do the 5 second happy dance! READY! GO!
If a bag is not resealable then it contains one serving. I don’t make the rules.