Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Doing pretty good so far on my 1500 calorie a day diet as long as I don`t eat anything else today and tomorrow.
Walmart killed the traveling circus.
Theiryeβre, problem solved.
If a single teacher canβt teach all the subjects then how could you expect a single student to learn all subjects.
I`ll just admire you from afar.. Or 500ft. That`s what this paper says.
I gotta go guys. I just found out my lunch break isn`t 3 hours long.
I hear boomerangs are making a comeback.
I think I`ve finally found someone I could spend the rest of my life with, I should probably get out of her closet and introduce myself.
if your looking for love sorry to disappoint you im already in a relationship with fun and freedom. :-)
I`m a firm believer that if something takes 10 minutes to cook on 200 degrees then it should only take 5 minutes to cook on 400 degrees
If that was me in the movie Taken, my dad would have missed the call and emailed me 3 days later asking if I have a job yet
My nickname at work is "HR wants to see you"
When I see somebody get on one knee tying their shoe in public I get in front of them, happy cry, and say βOh my GOD, I will, YES-YESS!β
Some people are just beautifully wrapped boxes of crap.
*Baby on board* Oh really? Thanks for letting me know, I was about to ram into your car, but now I wonβt.