Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My wife and I decided to make our own sex tape. She was pissed off when I started holding auditions for her part.
Nothing stops a yawn faster than a dog trying to lick inside your mouth
On the bright side, all that coal will keep me warm this winter.
Does all this status updating make my ego look fat?
I like to test the waters by pushing people in.
Nothing says "I`m unemployed" like wishing for snow on Facebook.
Sorry I made fun of your erectile dysfunction, I hope there’s no hard feelings.
If I had a British accent, I`d never shut up.
"Omg. Why does this store have so many naked pictures of me?"... "Sir those are mirrors, and we`re gonna have to ask you to leave."
Strange new trend at work. People putting names on food in the company fridge. Yesterday I ate a tuna sandwich named Jennifer.
A model citizen is just like a regular citizen that doesn`t eat.
Nice tan, what`s your race? Carrot?
One man’s LOL is another man’s WTF.
I bet if you asked a one-eyed person, they`d tell you it really WAS all fun and games up until that point.
All I want is less to do, more time to do it, and higher pay for not getting it done.