Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I haven`t slept for three days, because that would be too long
Laundry is like sex in reverse: you drop in a load, everything gets wet, then rolls around and ends up dry and neatly folded.
I`m looking for a girlfriend that likes me for my money, but is really bad at math...
u smile i smile u laugh i laugh u cry i`ll go get a bat and say who`s gonna get it
Make a random stranger`s day by walking up to them and saying "This isn`t real. You have to wake up"
Fox canceled Cops. So I guess if I want to stay current on what my family is up to now, I`ll have to turn to Facebook.
If kids are so wonderful why do you have to pay people to watch them?
Apparently some strangers don’t need a hug.
Have you ever noticed how people who play candy crush are always saying they need a life?
Accept the craziness. Life will be a bore without it.
The only idea worse than New Coke was brown toilet paper...
Things that don`t kill spiders: 1: furniture polish 2: Febreze 3: butter 4: screaming
If I was famous I would just knock on peoples doors and be like ... Hello, yes it`s me.
First you told me to be myself now you`re telling to me not be an idiot. Make up your mind woman!
My mum`s so old fashioned she thinks LOL = Lots of love. She sent me an SMS saying just to let you know you`re Pa`s in hospital LOL.