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If you think people are stupid, randomly post "Happy Birthday" wishes on peoples FB page and see how many others tell them happy birthday.
You`d think the nerds on The Big Bang could fix that stupid elevator.
I am going to write a book about A.D.D., because .. I love fishing. -LOL
Marriage. Because your sh!tty day doesn`t have to end at work.
I don`t really want to hear about the marathon, unless of course, they add an element of suspense ... Like a Bear at mile 3
pumpkin for sale, slightly used
I`ll be drinking tell I see Leprechauns tonight.
This is my first lame status of the year. Enjoy!
If you`re wondering why you`re single, date someone. You`ll remember
I don`t understand fat poor people. What are you eating? Broken hopes and dreams?
Dimples are considered a facial muscledeformity in the medical world.
This morning someone threw Skittles at me and said "Taste the Rainbow", I ran them over with my car and sang,"Nationwide is on your side"
I live in fear that my death will somehow be connected to the opening of a pressurized Pillsbury cinnamon roll container.
This coworker is about to find out walking around smiling on a Monday always leads to workplace accidents.
Men use love to get sex. Women use sex to get love. I use coupons to get pizza.