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Optimism? Sure, it`s worth a try. I don`t see how acting like an eye doctor is gonna help, but whatever.
The 5 second rule for food dropped on the ground does not work if you have a 2 second dog.
They say love is in every corner... my life must be a f*cking circle!
I’ve never been in love but I imagine it’s similar to the feeling you get when you see your waiter arriving with your food.
Girls don`t dress for boys, they dress for themselves... If girls dressed for boys, they`d just walk around naked all the time.
If by "help you cook" you mean drink wine in the kitchen while you do the work, then yes, I`d love to help you cook.
I`ve been hiding from exercise. I`m in the fitness protection program.
A spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down, unless that medicine is insulin.
I am addicted to Cold Turkey. Not sure how I will ever quit that one.
Daylight Savings makes us lose an hour... It’s kind of like Facebook.
eHarmony matched me with a bean bag chair with duct tape on it
I only hate the people in front of me while checking out at the store. Everyone behind me is cool.
I want to see a pregnancy test commercial where 2 single people high five the sh!t out of each other because it`s negative.
Hillary Clinton is running for president. In other news, grass is green and the sun is hot.
What the world needs is a self help movie, cause lets face it, most of us won`t buy the book.