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Take my advice, I don’t use it anyway.
If I had a mood ring on today, it`d be flashing like a disco ball!
only fights if pillows are present.
Girls here`s how to tell if a guy wants you for sex - 1: He does
Day 1. I am thankful that I haven`t fallen into the trap of Facebook thankful status updates.
If your boyfriend answers your text while playing GTA, he doesn`t love you. He just died on the game.
Cashier: Would you like your milk in a bag? Me: No, let`s just keep it in the carton, ok?
When people have cars as their profile picture I automatically presume they are a transformer.
Depression is just your body`s way of saying it needs more orgasms.
Before social networking you could just completely forget someone existed. And it was great
Waterfalls are a beautiful, majestic sight as they pour down upon the rocky crags below. Unless you`re in a canoe and about to plummet to your death. Then waterfalls sorta suck.
People were shocked when they found I wasn`t a good electrician. :-)
Okay I`m going to workout. Should I post about it now or after I`m done?
I wish that just once, the clerk would just put the Monopoly money in the drawer and hand me a receipt
The only rule of the Chess Club is to hide from the Fight Club.