Daily Silly Status

My trust issues began when there was no donkey in Donkey Kong.

18 is TOO young to get married! You can`t even buy booze at 18! If you can`t buy booze, how the hell are you gonna make a marriage work?!?

Nuclear physicists can be lots of fun. They`re often referred to as the half life of any party.

I`m drinking like there`s snow tomorrow.

There are a lot of side effects to smoking weed. Like never shutting up about the fact that you smoke weed.

If a$$holes could fly, this place would be an airport

Hello everyone. Look at your status, now back to mine, now back to yours, now back to mine. Sadly, yours isn’t mine. But if you stopped posting about other things and made this your status, yours could be like mine. Look down, back up. Where are you? You’re on Facebook, reading the status your status could be like.

The five stages of Sunday: depression, anger, bargaining, acceptance, Netflix

What flickering lights mean: 1% electrical problem 99% demons.

I`m at my most popular when I just want to be alone.

If you try to pronounce “lmao” you sound like a french cat.

There are two key elements to success. 1) Never tell anyone everything you know.

I surveyed 100 women on what shampoo they prefer while showering 95% said How the hell did you get in here!!!

I don`t like morning people ... Or mornings ... Or people.

Alright, I give up! I`ve listened to the song like 50 times now, and I still don`t know what the fox is saying!