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Technically it was Moses that had the first tablet that could connect to the cloud.
You know what’s funnier than watching someone trip and fall? Absolutely nothing!
Leave the past behind. Smile every day. Never wear underwear. I don`t know. Inspirational statuses are hard.
I like to pee on car windows in subzero weather, happy scraping
Do you ever get the feeling that you’re being watched? Because if it’s bothering you, I’ll stop.
I wonder if Batman knows that other cities have crime, too.
The only exercise I`ve done this month is running out of money
The more I get to know you, the more I`m convinced that you are the sole inspiration behind many medications.
Posting a status update before responding to someone`s text is the easiest way to let them know how unimportant they are.
This is supposed to be funny but I got nothing but do me a favour and like this...Yeah, okay, IM DESPERATE -.-
I just saw a disclaimer that said "don`t try this at home", so I tried it at my neighbors house.
The internet is full of cats because dog people actually go outside.
You know how sometimes as you fall asleep your whole body jolts you awake? That`s a ghost finishing sex with you.
Inspirational status: Today’s probably going to suck. Don’t be a little bitch and handle that sh!t.
i dont have drain bramage.