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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Of course it`s you. If it was me I wouldn`t even bring it up.
What flavor is this Harlem Shake you speak of?
Someone figured out my password. Now I have to rename my dog.
I`m a bitch ... What`s your excuse?
In honor of St. Patrick`s Day, I`m going to create a hybrid of a four leaf clover and poison ivy and give myself a rash of good luck
Life is full of disappointments, I`ll just add you to the list.
Sorry, I didn’t get your message because I deleted it without listening.
Ever get out of the shower and not remember getting a towel ready but its there anyway? You`re welcome.
If I had a dollar for every time someone told me I`m cute, I would have 1 dollar ... thanks mom.
All you need is WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn`t move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn`t, use the tape.
I`m starting to think that Dr. Dre isn`t a real doctor after all...
Love is... saving money to buy her shoes!
The worst form of Alzheimer’s is when you walk out of the kitchen and forget to grab a beer.
I always learn from mistakes of others, who took my advice.
I was going to give you a nasty look but I see you already have one!