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Nothing makes me want to leave a website more than a pop-up window saying, “Are you sure you want to leave this page?”
I`m having fruit salad for dinner, well, it`s mostly grapes...crushed grapes ...ok, it`s wine, I`m having wine!
Just because you think it`s a bad idea doesn`t mean we won`t have a good time.
Cop: do you know why I pulled you over? Me: pfft. I could think of like fifty reasons, I’m not falling for that.
Yeah but why do they call him Bigfoot if both of his feet are the exact same size
I was in a taxi and the driver said "I love my job. I`m my own boss and nobody tells me what to do!" I said "That`s really great, now take a left here."
Have you guys seen the new documentary about white trash? I only saw the trailer.
I think I have an urge to get up and clean the house. Wait...no, false alarm.
I don`t know why people say "your guess is as good as mine"? ..because my guesses are always better. ;)
If anyone lost a roll of hundred dollar bills, with a rubber band around it...... I found the rubber band.
I really want to take photos of my friends with their face smushed against glass.. Then make that pic my phone contact for them.. Then when they call, it will look like they`re trapped inside my phone! Oh god my life is pitiful, kill me..
Anything you say will be used against you, in an argument, 10 months from now, because I’m a woman. And we never forget. Anything. Ever.
Dimples are considered a facial muscledeformity in the medical world.
The guy that discovered milk.. What did you tell your friends were you doing to that cow? O_o
Played hide and seek today. I was winning until the cops let the K9 off of the leash.