Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
A Lion would never cheat on his wife.. but a Tiger wood.
I`ve had like 10 red bulls, so of course I`m vacuuming the front yard.
Night people could take over the world if we weren’t so busy finding something good on TV.
I really like it when women check me out, they seem to be able to work the register a lot better than men.
A lot of people are only alive because I shed too much hair to ever get away with murder.
Will you go with me to my therapist tomorrow? He thinks I`m making you up.
I once overdosed on Viagra. My wife took it really hard.
Tip of the day: When the cop asks you if you had anything to drink in the last 24 hours, do NOT ask them for the time... trust me
Some moments you remember all your life. Reading this, unfortunately, is not one of those moments.
Answering your cell when you don`t recognize the number is like picking up a hitchhiker.
Her profile said she was a stone cold freak. Turns out she was just a wrestling fan with bad capitalization skills. :(
I haven`t owned a watch for I don`t know how long.
Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
Do the right thing today: Go to someone`s profile, scroll down 4 months, and like something.
Beautiful people are more beautiful when surrounded by ugly people