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It`s a beautiful day, think I`ll skip my meds and stir things up a bit.
Times change When I was a kid, werewolves and vampires were very scary. Now everyone wants to have sex with them
Today is National Take Your Flask To Work Day. I just made it up. Tell the others.
"I can`t wait to nail you later" *whispers to the new picture I just bought*
Not to brag but my new mistress is a lingerie model. OK, fine. A mannequin. But she doesn`t talk much and I like that.
When you consider names for your baby, it`s important to try out the middle name in an angry voice.
Candy canes are the perfect treat. They are minty & put you into the holiday spirit & can easily be fashioned into a shank.
That very akward moment when Shakirah`s hips lie!
Everything is so much funnier when you`re not allowed to laugh.
I don`t live paycheck to paycheck. I live paycheck to four days before paycheck...
I would unfriend you but I enjoy laughing at your life.
You know one thing i really like about you is that you dont like anything about me.
News flash! someone just found Carmon Sandiego!
Seeking one night stand. I might need two though, I do have a lot of books.