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When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered if God is playing angry birds with you?
Going back to work after 12 days off is the best way to realize I should have married for money.
Don`t ``Wine and dine`` me ... ``Champagne`` me ... step it up a notch
That awkward moment when you finish watching a TV series and you don’t know what to do with your life any more.
If you lift up the handle on the car door at the same time I`m trying to unlock it more than two times, I`m driving off without you.
The true definition of safe sex is having a padded headboard.
I`m God`s gift to women if he stopped at a gas station last minute.
If a woman is talking to me about her problems, I better be the cause of them.
I don`t know about you....but I have thought about running away from home way more as an adult than I ever did as a kid.
Ghetto word of the day: "Bishop", My girlfriend fell down, So I picked that bishop.
The realization that Netflix knows me better than my closest friends....
I thinking about how im disgusted by holding a gas pump but yet, I have no problem drinking my beer from a cup that ten other people drank out of, and a backwash covered ping pong ball was just thrown into it after hitting a dirty a$$ garage floor??
I know my limits. I don’t pay any attention to them, but I know them.
Moses had the first tablet with cloud connectivity.
Would you like a push on that mood swing of yours?