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I downloaded this app called "Hide & Go Seek". Ever since then I cant find my damn phone.
You can never read a doctor`s prescription, but you can sure read his bill
I once found a whip, a mask, a baton and handcuffs in my Mother-in-Law`s draw... who knew she was a superhero. Nice!!!
What do sleeping and sex have in common? ... I`m not getting nearly enough of either.
How many boxes of these Thin Mints do I need to eat before I start seeing results?
For Lent I`ve decided to give up my New Year`s Resolutions
(Apocalyptic world) "Well guys......there goes our last female"
The wifi going down on me is the most action I`m going to get tonight.
Single ladies, stop saying you should just give up & get a cat , if no man wants you , don`t force an innocent cat to live with you..
Everyone, please... a moment of silence for all my married friends who have a shared Facebook account.
The problem with you is ... you exist.
50 Shades of Laze - My weekend plans
I swear on this f*cking chicken I will never swear again. Oops.
When it gets nice out I`m going to have a roof party and after that`s done have a painting party inside, come all
After watching the "Schticky" ad, I am convinced now there are 8 wonders of the world.