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My train of thought likes to circle around the station a few times, take some wrong turns, and end up totally lost.
my wish for tonight is for the person reading this status to have a Good Night!
Redneck word of the day : Asphalt. It`s your own dumb asphalt !!
How do you get to be that guy who waves the chopsticks at the the orchestra? I feel like I could do that.
Facebook is the best place to say whatever you want. If it doesn’t go over well you can just say you were hacked.
Mall kiosk employees are basically human pop up ads.
"I have no idea. Why don`t you just Google it?" —My answer to just about every question I`m ever asked
I had the greatest bowel movement at 2am......unfortunately I woke up at 8am (<>..<>)
I am a Mother hear me roar.....especially when my kids decide to make a kite out of my granny panties and fly it down the street.
Hey ladies who complain about falling in when we leave the toilet seat up; how about you first check if the runway is there before you bring the plane down.
Mom: Clean your room. We`re having guests over for dinner. Me: I didn`t realize that dinner will be held in my room.
Would I be in a porno for a million dollars? It depends. What kind of porn? Will my mom see it? Do I have to pay the million all at once?
Last time I saw jugs that big, 2 hillbillies were blowing on them.
Got kicked out of the casino again. Apparently, gold chocolate coins mess up their slot machines or something.
Dear Santa, before I try to explain…..just how much do you already know?