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So how long before GoFundMe is our nation`s leading health care provider?
I really love it when a hot girl winks at me with both eyes.
Friend told me that on her strict new diet, she eats each meal naked in front of a mirror. I said would you like to come over for dinner?
I don`t know about you . But everytime I go on Twitter , I get this weird feeling , I am being followed.
Ladies, if you are really good at blow jobs, you don’t have to pretend to like football.
The Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.
I have two moods: sleep is for the weak and sleeping for a week.
The guy who invented the Time Machine has just died.... RIP DAVE JONES 2187-2014
Half-Drunk is a waste of money.
75% of men kiss their wives good bye when leaving the house. 100% kiss their house good bye when leaving their wives.
How to find the perfect wife: Play monopoly with her. if she chooses the iron, she`s the one.
I think I can survive on Mars since they found water for my coffee.
Vodka isn`t the answer... but it makes you forget the question :P
Rabbits jump & they live for 8 yrs. Dogs run & they live for 15 yrs. Turtles don`t do anything & they live for 150 years. LESSON LEARNED!
I wouldn`t do much for a Klondike Bar; I would however get naked for beer.