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McDonald`s should have a 3rd window, where you can trade in all the wrong sh!t they gave you at the second window.
This salad is delicious, probably because it`s a donut.
I used to be a camera man in the porn industry but it became too hard...
I have a brilliant idea once every seven beers.
The best part of waking up is.....wait, I didn`t think this through entirely.
I hate it when someone starts to tell me something, then says "Never Mind".
Sneezing is like using sonar to find polite people.
I wish these people who sing songs on the radio would learn the words to the song, they keep messing me up!!
Teacher: Have a seat! Student: Thanks! *picks up the chair and leaves* -- (°_°)
My girlfriend isn`t much of a wrestler but you should see her box!!
Last night I was walking the sexiest girl ever home until she turned around and saw me.
I do this thing called "Whatever The F*ck I Want".
Every photo taken inside my house has at least one laundry basket in the background.
Ok a$$hole, just go around me. I`m already doing 30 over the limit, I`m not speeding up. Stupid car with your stupid flashing lights
I prefer a slowie not a quickie.