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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Hair pulling during sex is hot ... unless the whole wig comes off.
I will do a lot of things but admitting I`m cold to my wife who told me to bring a warmer jacket isn`t one of them...
The best moments in life are the ones you don`t tell anyone about.
Happy new years, my friends. Thanks for supporting the site, Ralf.
I`m not shy. I`m just being quiet because I know that if I open my mouth to speak, a flow of never- ceasing, insulting comment directed at you will immediately spew from within me.
Oh, I have an idea!!..oh wait, no I don`t
My life is about as organized as the $5 DVD bin at Wal-mart.
I should never have climbed into this vat of curdled milk. I`m in whey over my head.
It`s hard to feel sorry for people when they get what they deserve.
I`m no auto mechanic but I`m pretty good at letting people who drive behind me know whether or not they need new brakes
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming... 1. Whenever you`re wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you`re right, shut up.
Somewhere in a parallel universe, I hope there’s a giant dog with a tiny woman in its purse.
Remember, time is more powerful than You!!! One tree makes a million matchsticks......But when the time comes........Only 1 match stick is needed to burn a million trees......
If you tell people you used to weigh 500 pounds they`ll tell you how great you look at 250.
It must suck when billionaires wake up feeling like a million bucks.