Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
is cuddling up with a good book and a cup of tea. Ah, who am I kidding... I´m looking at Hustler and having a beer.
Sometimes I`m completely inconsiderate to other peoples feelings. And other times I`m asleep.
I like to drink while I clean and that`s how I found out what Febreze tastes like.
Cats have been named the #1 pet held hostage by lonely women.
I wonder how many messengers were killed before they came up with the saying.
If I`ve offended you in the past, please accept my apology, and shove it up your a$$.
Lying about my age is easier now that I have trouble remembering what it is.
I`m as bored as a guy with no arms looking at porn.
"I want to marry a smart, rich, and beautiful woman. But I don`t feel like getting married 3 times." - Hesam Ebrahim
Bored? Text "Our condom broke." to a random number
is clapping his hands and stomping his feet because he is happy and he knows it.
The awkward moment when you type HO instead of HI.
I wonder if Superman ever put glasses on Lois Lane`s dog & she was like, "I`ve never seen this dog before. Is this a new dog?"
Her: Do you want to run away with me? ME: We won`t actually be running, right?
Research is what I`m doing when I don`t know what I`m doing.