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lol <- looks like a stick man drowning. lol
If you cry loudly enough at a Walmart everyone will just assume you work there.
If you have a dog grooming business and it’s not called “Doggie Style” then something is wrong with you.
One of the greatest things about owning a dog is how happy they are to see you even though you just stepped out of the house for 30 seconds.
More tattoo artists really just need to say "No, I`m not doing that."
No matter how loud you crank the bass, it`s still a minivan.
It`s only a 4 way stop if each driver can read
I used to make fun of my dog for barking at dogs on TV until I caught myself in the car pulling over for a siren on the radio.
Talk to me long enough and you`ll realize why I`m single.
Happy Monday!! I`m gonna sit this one out.
My husband told me that in some cultures women do all the housework, so I told him in some cultures blow jobs don`t exist. He`s vacuuming.
I want the job of placing pepperoni slices on frozen pizzas, because clearly whoever has it is now has problems.
I would be a great procrastinator ... if I could ever get around to it.
REPOSTED~WARNING~PLEASE READ! If someone comes to your door and asks you to remove your clothes,and dance with your arms in the air...~DO NOT DO THIS....~It is a SCAM~...They just want to see you naked....I wish I had known this yesterday....I feel so stupid now
Marry someone who can cook. Love fades, hunger doesn`t.